Lately, my dreamscape has been a blank canvas. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is what it is.
In reference to a past dream about Alzheimers and aging: As I sat there last night listening to my father chatting with us all about a funeral/wake he attended, I noticed him reflecting back on the same stories several times. At first I figured that i was the only person that noticed him rehashing duplicate memories, but John stepped in and finished a story that he was in the midst of telling. As I looked over at my dad's face, he had a bit of a glazed over look. I don't think that has anything to do with Alzheimers as much as it has to do with him feeling his mortality. He kept stating that Freddie Bell was 2 years younger than him.
On top of that, Juliet had mentioned that my dad is starting to "speak a bit like Jim", by talking about people we have no background about, and memories that are so distant that we are unable to relate. More and more, it seems as if he is trying to tell all of his tales in a race to say all that he has to. Maybe I'm reading a bit too deep into his actions, but I have a hunch that he may know something about his internal clock, or that maybe his brain is attempting to purge all that it can before it attempts to reboot.
I've been there before with my grandma, and I hope my father stays as sharp as a tack for years to come. I wish I were more of an optimist, but with him nearing 75 years old, I can't help but transform into a realist. I love my father more than one can imagine, and I'm pained to even think this way.. However, my life taught me early that humans are just that: humans. Luckily, I cherish every day on this earth, and make the best of spending time with my loved ones...tomorrow is never guranteed, and nobody knows that better than I.
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